Love love love this question and your response. So important. I’ve moved what feels like a gazillion times and I’m in a city where people leave all the time. Brussels is known for its expat community of course but people come and go like the seasons. It’s really hard.I think your advice is spot-on and I’m so glad the question came in. Thank you.
Nice essay ... I've been in that situation in three countries now, and the question you started with is a good one. Its answers also depend somewhat on where you live, at least that has been our experience.
I live in the city I was born over sixty years ago….literally round the corner from the house where I grew up. It helps that it’s Edinburgh which is a really lovely place to be, but we’ve done lots of holiday travelling and dragged our kids around the world when they were young. When they grew up they both left Edinburgh, our daughter to Australia and Asia our son to study in Europe. Our daughter has come home and settled back here but I can’t see our son returning. I met and married the boy I fell in love with when I was fourteen and can look out my bedroom window and see my childhood home but I’m proud we instilled a sense of adventure in our children.
A great read as always. Friendships take effort and they have seasons. A true and valuable concept no matter where or when we start something new. Thanks for the reminder AND that while good friendships can go dormant they never really die. Love to you both!!
We know many Europeans who have moved to the US and I'm envious of the expat communities that they have. Some of them have told me that as an ex-pat you end up being friendly (if not outright friends) with people who you perhaps might not be friends with back home because you bond over the ex-pat experience.
And learning the language is a must. It amazes me how many stories I read about people moving to a country and making no effort to learn the language. That strikes me as quite rude.
I have an additional suggestion that has worked very well for us in Nice - join the Accueil des Villes Françaises. I understand there is one in Montpellier as well as other cities throughout France. If they are anything like the AVF in Nice, there are tons of activities including weekly hiking, exercise classes, language lessons, cooking lessons, a variety of outings including visits to local farms, truffle hunting, quiz night, etc. AVF is for all people moving to that particular city - so any and all foreigners as well as French people. We have met a ton of people through AVF in a very short period of time. I highly recommend this group.
This is a nice piece with a lot of great advice. I agree that one shouldn't ignore the huge friendship opportunities offered by other expats. I've never really been part of an "expat community," but have still made some good friends through that common bond.
Love love love this question and your response. So important. I’ve moved what feels like a gazillion times and I’m in a city where people leave all the time. Brussels is known for its expat community of course but people come and go like the seasons. It’s really hard.I think your advice is spot-on and I’m so glad the question came in. Thank you.
Nice essay ... I've been in that situation in three countries now, and the question you started with is a good one. Its answers also depend somewhat on where you live, at least that has been our experience.
I made some suggestions about integrating into French communities in an essay that basically suggests stopping by the Mairie and looking at what local associations exist; there are good online resources for finding associations, too, and for identifying volunteering activities. If you like, check out "Getting involved with French community life - Associations" https://leavingamerica.substack.com/p/getting-involved-with-french-community?r=1u1uw5. The post "An approach to adapting linguistically in France" is related https://leavingamerica.substack.com/p/integrating-linguistically-in-france
I live in the city I was born over sixty years ago….literally round the corner from the house where I grew up. It helps that it’s Edinburgh which is a really lovely place to be, but we’ve done lots of holiday travelling and dragged our kids around the world when they were young. When they grew up they both left Edinburgh, our daughter to Australia and Asia our son to study in Europe. Our daughter has come home and settled back here but I can’t see our son returning. I met and married the boy I fell in love with when I was fourteen and can look out my bedroom window and see my childhood home but I’m proud we instilled a sense of adventure in our children.
Oh and….Paul Newman all the way!
Well Played Answers !!!!
A great read as always. Friendships take effort and they have seasons. A true and valuable concept no matter where or when we start something new. Thanks for the reminder AND that while good friendships can go dormant they never really die. Love to you both!!
We know many Europeans who have moved to the US and I'm envious of the expat communities that they have. Some of them have told me that as an ex-pat you end up being friendly (if not outright friends) with people who you perhaps might not be friends with back home because you bond over the ex-pat experience.
And learning the language is a must. It amazes me how many stories I read about people moving to a country and making no effort to learn the language. That strikes me as quite rude.
I have an additional suggestion that has worked very well for us in Nice - join the Accueil des Villes Françaises. I understand there is one in Montpellier as well as other cities throughout France. If they are anything like the AVF in Nice, there are tons of activities including weekly hiking, exercise classes, language lessons, cooking lessons, a variety of outings including visits to local farms, truffle hunting, quiz night, etc. AVF is for all people moving to that particular city - so any and all foreigners as well as French people. We have met a ton of people through AVF in a very short period of time. I highly recommend this group.
Thank you! That is a great idea.
I’ll check out AVF - I hadn’t heard of the group!
This is a nice piece with a lot of great advice. I agree that one shouldn't ignore the huge friendship opportunities offered by other expats. I've never really been part of an "expat community," but have still made some good friends through that common bond.