I definitely agree with you, and have often wondered why some expats turn up their nose at the idea of socializing with people who are doing exactly what they are doing!
I'm sure there are lots of reasons, but I bet most people are trying to commit to a new language or are introverts or have some other benign reason. It's easy to assume anyone stand-offish is being haughty/turning up their nose, but I really believe that's most often not the case. I have to remind myself to be generous in my assumptions about people's motivations...especially since I myself am part of the naturally stand-offish crowd!
Oh, I didn't mean to imply that I thought everyone who eschews the company of fellow expats is "turning up their nose" at it. But I have run into that profile, which is probably, as you say, a minority. In my early years here, desperately trying to make friends, I reached out to a few British colleagues who told me flat out that they weren't interested in a mere coffee or lunch with me because "they only hung out with French people" or "they really only mixed with the locals." I found that heartbreaking at the time!
I know that's not what you meant! And golly - that really was turning up their nose, in the cases you described. Yeah, I would be hurt if someone said that to me when I made overtures towards friendship/socializing.
Wishing you both a Beau Noël! 🎄🌻🎄🌻
Wishing yall a merry French Christmas 💕💕💕🙏🏻💕💕💕🎄🎄🌲
And a merry beach Christmas to you!
Wonderful post. Thank you and wishing you a lovely holiday season.
Lovely post! Joyeux fêtes 🎄
I definitely agree with you, and have often wondered why some expats turn up their nose at the idea of socializing with people who are doing exactly what they are doing!
I'm sure there are lots of reasons, but I bet most people are trying to commit to a new language or are introverts or have some other benign reason. It's easy to assume anyone stand-offish is being haughty/turning up their nose, but I really believe that's most often not the case. I have to remind myself to be generous in my assumptions about people's motivations...especially since I myself am part of the naturally stand-offish crowd!
Oh, I didn't mean to imply that I thought everyone who eschews the company of fellow expats is "turning up their nose" at it. But I have run into that profile, which is probably, as you say, a minority. In my early years here, desperately trying to make friends, I reached out to a few British colleagues who told me flat out that they weren't interested in a mere coffee or lunch with me because "they only hung out with French people" or "they really only mixed with the locals." I found that heartbreaking at the time!
I know that's not what you meant! And golly - that really was turning up their nose, in the cases you described. Yeah, I would be hurt if someone said that to me when I made overtures towards friendship/socializing.