Carolyn vs the French Language Part Deux

Roll your r's and swallow your pride

Jun 26, 2023

“So . . . how’s the French going?”

I get this question a lot.

I wrote about my fraught history with the French language back in February, so I thought it was time to give you an update on my journey to becoming fluent, my longterm (lifetime?) goal.

Learning a second language has felt a lot like learning to play guitar. On the guitar, I learned a few chords and could play a few songs and felt like a genius. Then I watched Jimmy Page pick his way up the entire neck and realized I knew fuck all about the guitar. I can feel pretty good about my French and then watch two seconds of French TV and decide I am a moron who doesn’t know a word.

So I’m trying to think about French in a similar way to the guitar, one day and one chord at a time.

I really like speaking French, at least I do when it’s going well. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment, and it’s incredibly satisfying when French people understand me or, God forbid, compliment my French. But let’s be honest, any American putting in any effort is going to be complimented by the French. (The people in Montpellier could not be nicer about my bumbling attempts and no one corrects me or turns up their nose—I’m looking at your Parisians. Paris, remember, is one of the top tourist destinations in the world. The people in the service industry whom you encounter there are interacting with foreigners all day long. You are not a novelty. Choose your croissant and move along, s’il vous plait.)

This is the first novel I have ever bought in French. I know the book so well I figured it would make me feel fluent. Read the first paragraph and I bet you will feel fluent too!

First paragraph of Pride and Prejudice in French.

I did most of the speaking for Roberto and I during our last trip to Montpellier—with sales clerks, waiters, and the utility companies, and it was all pleasant for me save the utility companies, where the stakes felt high and I was on the phone. The phone is particularly challenging because one can’t see facial expressions, use one’s hands, or easily use Google Translate. When I lived in Paris as a student I used to have to call my landlord once a month, and it always made my palms sweat. I could understand maybe one out of fifty words. He must have thought I was dumber than a baguette.

After our power went out in Montpellier, I was on the phone with the energy company, and I was cruising along thinking, "I’m doing it! I’m setting up this account on the phone in French and I’m killing it!" And then the sales woman started reeling off numbers.

I had flown too close to the sun.

Were these numbers a date? A time? A price?

Merde.

Falling Icarus by RaychulWhatsername on DeviantArt

I asked her to repeat herself. She said the numbers again at lighting speed, and I tried to parse out the translation and what the numbers were for. I asked her to speak more slowly. I swear I spent ten minutes setting up the entire account, and then it took another ten minutes for me to understand the time and day the electricity would come back on. That poor service woman.

Some companies, like our bank, thank goodness, have an English service option. I have to wait longer, but it’s worth it when it’s important. What’s interesting is that many French people take English au lycée (in high school) and have a good amount of experience reading and writing in English. They also watch a ton of American films and TV. But we were informed that most of the English teachers are French, and therefore the French (at least many whom we met) aren’t very confident about their accents. In fact, 80% of them are embarrassed about their English accents! Remember this the next time you try to say something like brouillard, the word for “fog,” that is currently vexing me.

Our real estate agent, Agnès, who we’ve mentioned a lot, was an exchange student in the US and then spent a year living in Brooklyn. She loves America, and we truly benefitted from that fondness and her willingness to dive into English. Her mistakes in English are charming, and I tell myself that my mistakes are just as charming. Right?

Speaking of mistakes, Roberto delights in these two stories from our last trip:

I was in line at Ikea and was buying a lot of basic home necessities. An older Frenchman in line heard my accent and asked in French if I was moving to Montpellier. I replied, "We are going to make our retirement here." At least that’s what I thought I said. Nous allons faire notre retraitement ici.”

He began to laugh. "Uh oh," I said. "What did I say?" Qu'est-ce que j'ai dis?

Luckily he spoke English and could explain. I had said something closer to Nous allons faire notre enterrment ici. "Retrait means retirement. Enterrment means six feet under." Interred.

We both laughed. Although to be fair, maybe what I said was dark but true? "Roberto and I are moving here to be buried."

The second blunder was in a furniture store. It was a boutique shop with unique pieces that Roberto and I both loved. I was speaking with the owner and I tried to say, "You have wonderful taste." I said something like, "Vous avez un goût merveilleux."

She began to laugh but she didn’t have the English to explain why. Only when we walked out did I realize I had said, "You taste marvelous."

I’m still not sure how I should have phrased it. Perhaps just, "Vous avez un style magnifique" would have been safer. Probably a good idea to just stay away from the word taste altogether.

It’s good that both people were able to laugh and so was I. My goal is that one day I will be able to make intentional jokes in French and not just be the butt of them. But I suspect this is many, many years away. Le sigh.

I will leave you with some accounts and apps that I use, including ones I’ve already mentioned and some news ones I’ve discovered. We all learn in such different ways, and nowadays it’s so easy to find the method that really suits your brain.

Mmmm. Brains.

Jusqu’à la prochaine fois (until next time)

Carolyn & Roberto

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Resources for Learning French

New Since February

Apps

Lingopie

This app has been a little buggy for me, but it has the most exciting potential. It allows you to watch TV or a movie on your laptop and then you tap on the subtitles for a translation and—here is the best part—add the vocabulary to flashcards for later use! I mentioned previously that my French tutor and I meet weekly via Zoom to discuss Call My Agent. The most time consuming part of watching the show for me is pausing to write down and look up vocabulary. If I can get this program running smoothly and consistently it will be a real game changer.

Instagram - these accounts have very quick, fun little lessons, mostly about pronunciation and slang

@hellofrenchnyc

@atfrenchies

YouTube

French Mornings with Elisa

This video analyzes how good celebrities are at speaking French. It’s fun and kind of gossipy but also truly helps with French. And her whole channel is great.