Hi! Boy, I should invite you out to our house (I’m near the Cévennes, lived previously in Montpellier.) There’s a lot to explain! I think this every time I read your posts. I’m an American with, sheesh, 27 years of experience shuttling between the US and France (?!). I’ve lived many a year with the same thoughts and frustrations as you here (I still do sometimes), but I’ve come to understand the occasional genius of French crowd movement. There’s more to it than you may realize. Anyway, good wishes!
This is one time I hesitate to reply to your post because I ruled out Montpelier after spending a week there looking for real estate and attending a seminar of expats planning the same thing. I know you will consider what I am saying, sorry. My sister was with me and the two of us were appalled at the groups of people coming toward us on the "sidewalks" who would not break arms for us. We noticed they were all young and appeared to be students from one of the many universities. We also noticed the shops and restaurants catered to the students as well. Then there are the drug dealers sitting around the square, each with a large dog that caused me to inquire the reason. Turns out the police have no means of caring for the dogs if they arrest the dealers, so they leave them. I was asked by the seminar provider to not speak of all the issues I observed because the others seemingly were oblivious to them and they were proceeding with property purchases. We originally thought the universities would be a plus but in the end they are not, at least not for us. Fortunately, what turned me off was unique to Montpelier center and I simply chose to live elsewhere, happily going on our seventh year living in France as residents full time. FYI, I will not be insulted if you delete my post as it is disparaging, sorry.
I won't delete your post, your experience and feelings are your own. I have not experienced what you did, and I don't see drug dealers sitting around the public spaces and I don't assume every unhoused person with a dog is a drug dealer. I have heard similar theories about why the homeless keep dogs. Nobody has ever been the least bit threatening or aggressive to me here.
As for the failing to make way, I find it more a matter of curiosity than a hostile act. And pedestrians/drivers are certainly rude in their own way back in the US; the French don't have a monopoly on that! I have experienced the non-accommodating behavior from people of all ages. In general, I find the people here very friendly and helpful. As I attempted to say in this post, I think it's a cultural difference that seems rude to outsiders but probably has something other than poor manners at its root.
I do see your point - those almost invisible curbs look lethal. On the other hand, how wonderful to walk on wide pavements. And to have cities constructed around people, not cars. My sister used to live in Connecticut and there was not even a narrow strip for pedestrians!
I often laugh when I walk on the sidewalks in Austin. Sometimes they are barely 2' wide and suddenly there'll be an electricity pole in the center of the walk!
Also, I realize those steps are spaced way they are because of decisions made hundreds of years ago. (But they could still put a yellow strip on the edge or something!)
It also made me think about how if you spent your whole life in the same small town, you'd know where the level changes were instinctively. We move around so much, both internationally and just wandering farther afield in our own hometown, that we're often in unfamiliar surroundings.
Similarly, I remember after 15 years of riding my bike everywhere in NYC, I could ride at night and avoid potholes and hazards without actively thinking about it. I knew where they were and adjusted my path by automatically..
Bonjour. As a former cross-cultural trainer (and immigrant who was immersed in North American culture for over two decades before returning to France, her homeland) I find this story very interesting - the section about the lack of visual markers on Montpellier streets especially.
This is a pretty good illustration of differences between high (and low) context cultures you are probably familiar with. These were fascinating to explore during business meetings in the US. To elaborate a bit it's been my experience Americans are much more literal than the French and live in a society where (for a variety of reasons including fear of lawsuits) things are spelled out, marked, and highlighted on a regular basis. In France, rules (or directions) are often implied. We are supposed to know them. We are supposed to understand how things work. We are supposed to keep an eye out for danger.
Talking about which...
Those strange practices on local sidewalks you pointed out. I recently found a fascinating online discussion where French expats/immigrants in Scandinavia bemoaned the same traits among locals. How about that? ;-)
Maybe this is more of a European thing than a Montpellier (or a French) thing then?
Thank you for this article. It made me think. T'is a good thing. Bonne semaine!
That's VERY interesting that the French complained about the same thing in Scandanavia! I think it's probably the same problem - not understanding subtle cultural differences. It's easy to make the mistake of assuming it is rudeness.
My tutor said the same thing about lawsuits and expecting you to look out for your own safety. You're on to something there.
So many "Amen!" to this. Sidewalk-wide groups are extremely annoying, but as a tall & large man I am privileged to be often identified as a collision threat. So these groups eventually reduce their width to half of the sidewalk, while grumbling and giving me side eye.
My partner is a woman, and doesn't benefit from this common courtesy, so she's started doing the "her hand on her shoulder, elbow very pointedly sticking out ahead of her, not modifying course". Men especially are *outraged* that a woman would dare to demand to be respected as a human being, and get to keep her side of the sidewalk... but they eventually move away from the elbow coming at them. So elbow it is, from now on.
That's interesting because we have the exact opposite experience. Carolyn doesn't observe this phenomenon and wonders if it's all my fault. I'm also a tall, athletic looking guy and nobody is clearing the way for me!
(and I'll need to research this using another man, because people choose to avoid me to immediately walk into my partner. We're clearly identifiable as a couple, and they decide to aim for the woman)
I love your post, so funny and so true! I navigate the calçadas of Portugal with extreme caution. When I broke my foot in Brazil a few years ago, I went to a US ortho doc on return for a follow up check.
Canada, like the US, is quite keen on signage, tape, hi-vis colours and other visual cues to keep people safe. Some is to assist those with limited vision but in some cases there is so much that the good intent is lost in the volume.
We're heading to Spain in a few days for an extended stay. There, as seems to be the norm almost everywhere except CanUSA, we will be on our own to manage the monochromatic street furniture world. I wonder if a sign saying "Bridge Out" would be erected if such a calamity occurred? Perhaps. I recall on the Inca Trail someone went to the effort to attach a foot of yellow tape to a broken hiking pole on a sharp bend to indicate the risk of a 100m drop. Small concessions ;)
Keep sharing. You & Mr Black are my two favourite reads here.
I've definitely been places in the US where there good intent is lost in the volume (I like how you put it!). There has to be a happy medium; I'd hate to see the beautiful old city striped up in yellow tape!
Always happy to be grouped with Michael Ian Black in anybody's estimation, he's a great talent. Carolyn and I are huge fans of his eponymous Substack and his TV Show "Have I Got News For You".
A great post and so true. I live in Paris and both are spot on. And if you did fall, the response would be: ah madame you need to look where you are walking!!! Love living here!!!!
Hi! Boy, I should invite you out to our house (I’m near the Cévennes, lived previously in Montpellier.) There’s a lot to explain! I think this every time I read your posts. I’m an American with, sheesh, 27 years of experience shuttling between the US and France (?!). I’ve lived many a year with the same thoughts and frustrations as you here (I still do sometimes), but I’ve come to understand the occasional genius of French crowd movement. There’s more to it than you may realize. Anyway, good wishes!
PLEASE ELABORATE!!!!!
Too much to elaborate here. 😄 But I just sent you a pm.
This is one time I hesitate to reply to your post because I ruled out Montpelier after spending a week there looking for real estate and attending a seminar of expats planning the same thing. I know you will consider what I am saying, sorry. My sister was with me and the two of us were appalled at the groups of people coming toward us on the "sidewalks" who would not break arms for us. We noticed they were all young and appeared to be students from one of the many universities. We also noticed the shops and restaurants catered to the students as well. Then there are the drug dealers sitting around the square, each with a large dog that caused me to inquire the reason. Turns out the police have no means of caring for the dogs if they arrest the dealers, so they leave them. I was asked by the seminar provider to not speak of all the issues I observed because the others seemingly were oblivious to them and they were proceeding with property purchases. We originally thought the universities would be a plus but in the end they are not, at least not for us. Fortunately, what turned me off was unique to Montpelier center and I simply chose to live elsewhere, happily going on our seventh year living in France as residents full time. FYI, I will not be insulted if you delete my post as it is disparaging, sorry.
I won't delete your post, your experience and feelings are your own. I have not experienced what you did, and I don't see drug dealers sitting around the public spaces and I don't assume every unhoused person with a dog is a drug dealer. I have heard similar theories about why the homeless keep dogs. Nobody has ever been the least bit threatening or aggressive to me here.
As for the failing to make way, I find it more a matter of curiosity than a hostile act. And pedestrians/drivers are certainly rude in their own way back in the US; the French don't have a monopoly on that! I have experienced the non-accommodating behavior from people of all ages. In general, I find the people here very friendly and helpful. As I attempted to say in this post, I think it's a cultural difference that seems rude to outsiders but probably has something other than poor manners at its root.
I do see your point - those almost invisible curbs look lethal. On the other hand, how wonderful to walk on wide pavements. And to have cities constructed around people, not cars. My sister used to live in Connecticut and there was not even a narrow strip for pedestrians!
I often laugh when I walk on the sidewalks in Austin. Sometimes they are barely 2' wide and suddenly there'll be an electricity pole in the center of the walk!
Also, I realize those steps are spaced way they are because of decisions made hundreds of years ago. (But they could still put a yellow strip on the edge or something!)
It also made me think about how if you spent your whole life in the same small town, you'd know where the level changes were instinctively. We move around so much, both internationally and just wandering farther afield in our own hometown, that we're often in unfamiliar surroundings.
Similarly, I remember after 15 years of riding my bike everywhere in NYC, I could ride at night and avoid potholes and hazards without actively thinking about it. I knew where they were and adjusted my path by automatically..
Bonjour. As a former cross-cultural trainer (and immigrant who was immersed in North American culture for over two decades before returning to France, her homeland) I find this story very interesting - the section about the lack of visual markers on Montpellier streets especially.
This is a pretty good illustration of differences between high (and low) context cultures you are probably familiar with. These were fascinating to explore during business meetings in the US. To elaborate a bit it's been my experience Americans are much more literal than the French and live in a society where (for a variety of reasons including fear of lawsuits) things are spelled out, marked, and highlighted on a regular basis. In France, rules (or directions) are often implied. We are supposed to know them. We are supposed to understand how things work. We are supposed to keep an eye out for danger.
Talking about which...
Those strange practices on local sidewalks you pointed out. I recently found a fascinating online discussion where French expats/immigrants in Scandinavia bemoaned the same traits among locals. How about that? ;-)
Maybe this is more of a European thing than a Montpellier (or a French) thing then?
Thank you for this article. It made me think. T'is a good thing. Bonne semaine!
That's VERY interesting that the French complained about the same thing in Scandanavia! I think it's probably the same problem - not understanding subtle cultural differences. It's easy to make the mistake of assuming it is rudeness.
My tutor said the same thing about lawsuits and expecting you to look out for your own safety. You're on to something there.
Thank you for commenting!
OUF !!!! or in as we say here OOF !!
So many "Amen!" to this. Sidewalk-wide groups are extremely annoying, but as a tall & large man I am privileged to be often identified as a collision threat. So these groups eventually reduce their width to half of the sidewalk, while grumbling and giving me side eye.
My partner is a woman, and doesn't benefit from this common courtesy, so she's started doing the "her hand on her shoulder, elbow very pointedly sticking out ahead of her, not modifying course". Men especially are *outraged* that a woman would dare to demand to be respected as a human being, and get to keep her side of the sidewalk... but they eventually move away from the elbow coming at them. So elbow it is, from now on.
That's interesting because we have the exact opposite experience. Carolyn doesn't observe this phenomenon and wonders if it's all my fault. I'm also a tall, athletic looking guy and nobody is clearing the way for me!
Wow! More research is needed 😊
(and I'll need to research this using another man, because people choose to avoid me to immediately walk into my partner. We're clearly identifiable as a couple, and they decide to aim for the woman)
The way you describe it reminds me of playing Red Rover, Red Rover as a kid; of course you aim for the weakest looking link!
I love your post, so funny and so true! I navigate the calçadas of Portugal with extreme caution. When I broke my foot in Brazil a few years ago, I went to a US ortho doc on return for a follow up check.
Doc: "Mmm, what was the mechanism of injury?"
Me: "Walking like an American."
hahahaha! I'm so sorry you got hurt, but "walking like an American" is GOLD!
Thank you for the kind words, Justine.
Canada, like the US, is quite keen on signage, tape, hi-vis colours and other visual cues to keep people safe. Some is to assist those with limited vision but in some cases there is so much that the good intent is lost in the volume.
We're heading to Spain in a few days for an extended stay. There, as seems to be the norm almost everywhere except CanUSA, we will be on our own to manage the monochromatic street furniture world. I wonder if a sign saying "Bridge Out" would be erected if such a calamity occurred? Perhaps. I recall on the Inca Trail someone went to the effort to attach a foot of yellow tape to a broken hiking pole on a sharp bend to indicate the risk of a 100m drop. Small concessions ;)
Keep sharing. You & Mr Black are my two favourite reads here.
I've definitely been places in the US where there good intent is lost in the volume (I like how you put it!). There has to be a happy medium; I'd hate to see the beautiful old city striped up in yellow tape!
Always happy to be grouped with Michael Ian Black in anybody's estimation, he's a great talent. Carolyn and I are huge fans of his eponymous Substack and his TV Show "Have I Got News For You".
A great post and so true. I live in Paris and both are spot on. And if you did fall, the response would be: ah madame you need to look where you are walking!!! Love living here!!!!
I hope that's not irony, Denise! We love living here, too - for real!
Yes I truly love living here!!!!
Hysterical. You’re not alone! The sidewalks of Porto have the same traffic - I’ve had this exact conversation with several people here.