Packing-Going-Back Panic Attacks
The anxiety of always moving.
Roberto and I made a big decision about our French/American life. We’ve been spending 3 months at a time in each place, and we’ve realized this is unsustainable. The process of going back and forth is too stressful, expensive, and exhausting. So we’ve decided that this fall we will return to France and stay for five months. We’re both really looking forward to sinking further into our French life.
We originally thought we would spend six months in each country, because the common advice online is don’t spend more than 180 days in a row in France or you trigger the requirement to pay income tax (here’s a decent explanations of French taxes for Americans). We’ve now been told that the decision of the French government about which country is your home base is a subjective one, and that they decide on an individual basis. To not have a universal rule is just SO French. We’re currently trying to meet with a French tax lawyer so we can better understand the nuances, but in the meantime a five month stay seems safer than six.
We don’t leave until October, so why am I already getting anxious? This should be easy by now, right? We’ve successfully gone to France for 30-90 days three times! We should be in our groove—have it down to a science—but alas, dear readers, we do not.
I wrote a panicked entry a year ago listing all the things spinning around my head a month before departure. I thought I would revisit it here and see how much has gotten harder, what is the same, and what, if anything, is easier.
Book the plane tickets. This is more time consuming than it should be because dogs. You have to PURCHASE the ticket first and THEN check to see if the flight has space for the dogs (they only allow 2-3 dogs per flight). If any leg of the journey says no, I have to find a new flight and then go back and CHANGE ALL THE OTHER FLIGHTS. This is an incredibly tedious and time-consuming task that feels like going to the DMV and getting sent between the same two desks for four hours.
Get three months worth of all my medications. This is the same but worse because we are staying five months and I can’t get that much medication in advance. I will have to find the various doctors to fill all of these in France, which I knew I would have to do sooner or later. I could ask my mom to pick up the meds in the US and mail them to me, but this can be very expensive with the import tax on prescription drugs. The standard VAT rate is 20% applied to the value of the goods, including the shipping cost!
Get the dogs bathed and groomed so they look smaller than they are and won’t attract notice of the airlines. This has gotten better. Now that we have traveled with them four times internationally, I am less worried about them being rejected from the flight. But I will still get them groomed because who wants a stink-bomb on their lap?
Get three months of the dogs’ flea and tick meds. And do we have to pack their food? We have already gotten these meds and if we run out we have established care with a French vet whom we like. We take a big ziplock of their American kibble so we can reintroduce them slowly to their French kibble. Bonus: they love it!
Take the dogs to vet to get their travel papers. Don’t have to do this again because now they have passports!! Hurrah!!
Woody and Rudy with their passports. Take the dogs to the mall for a test run in their new pet carriers. Will never do this again! Hurrah!
Return all the airline pet carriers I tested but we are not using. Hmm. Hadn’t considered this. I need to make sure both carriers are in enough good shape to survive another journey.
Dry-clean sweaters and winter coat. Nope. I have plenty of winter and summer clothes there.
Clean out my writing studio for renters. We’re hoping to rent out this space to traveling nurses/professionals while we are away. I have done this already! A poet is going to rent out the studio while we are away and everything is prepped! Winning!
Get the formula for my hair color from my hair salon for when I find a new salon in Montpellier (many of you will understand that this is THE most important item on this list). I have found a salon in Montpellier and they do great work and now have my color on file.
Cancel/pause local subscriptions Hmm. Have to remember what all these were/are?
Update our home insurance policy. DONE
Update our wills. We did this, but now we are working on French wills. We are halfway through the process and need to finish filling out the forms and get them mailed off. We will post soon and about why we needed a separate French will.
Call Orange France to turn on our new phone lines and deliver our new router so it will be there when we arrive. I already have a French cell number! Thank God and hallelujah, because this process, as the French say, can s*** my d***.
Have lunch/dinner/coffee/drinks with all our friends and family who want to see us before we leave because they think we will never come back. YES to this all over again. To be fair, we are dying to see everyone, too, especially the ones we have not yet managed to see since we returned in June.
Me trying to spend quality time with everyone I want to see. Do all my tedious yearly doctor appointments: the dentist, the dermatologist, the podiatrist, etc. Getting old sure sucks.
Go to Houston to renew our one year visas More paperwork! Hurrah!
AND VERY IMPORTANTLY: register to vote early in the US! You can register for early voting online and then you print out the ballot and mail it in.
I am sure I am forgetting some things that should be on this list, which gives me a belly ache.
This morning Duoling taught me this phrase: Malgré le stress, ça en vaut la peine. (Despite the stress, it’s worth it.) The DuoLingo owl has started to read my mind, you guys, and obviously he thought I needed a new mantra.
Jusqu’à la prochaine fois,
Carolyn & Roberto
Hello! I'm a self-employed Austin inhabitant investigating residency in France and Portugal (primarily). Someone in a Marseille expats FB group shared your French politics post, and I've been non-stop reading from the start of your red-tape rollercoaster. I much appreciate your wit, candor, all the gory details of traveling with dogs (I have three cats, god help me), and, not least, the bilingual cussing. Bravo! The Marina Abramovic photo illustration is hysterical. Thank you both!
The back and forth can be really tough! We've been doing 2-month trips but we don't yet have a permanent place in France, which is what we're trying to figure out. Your list was helpful and relatable (especially re: hair color).