Do you wish you were in France right now?
The answer is more complicated than you think.
I would say the number one question Roberto and I have been asked since we got back to the U.S. is “Do you wish you were in France right now?” With the current state of America we are, of course, tempted to jump on the next plane and escape this sh*tshow.
It is inevitable that Roberto and I would start to think and talk about making France our permanent home. When we set out on this crazy adventure it was with the idea of retiring in France. Neither of us could have foreseen that we would be considering the move way before retirement.
These days I’m asking myself many questions: Am I ready to empty our Austin house and rent it out or sell it? Can I be away from my American friends and family for that long? Will I lose some friends forever if I live abroad? With the current state of the American economy, is it safer to move our money to France? And the biggest question of all: am I ready to end my American life and trade it for the life of an immigrant? Am I ready to be French?
But let’s be honest, Roberto and I can never be truly French. We could live there for the next forty years and we would still be “that American couple.” We can learn the language to the best of our abilities, make French friends, and assimilate as much as possible, but growing up in France is what truly makes a person “French.” I think the best we can hope for is to be French-ish.
As I ponder life as an immigrant my minds always turns to the immigrants in America and what they are currently enduring. I have always believed that one of the best parts of America was that the moment you arrived here you became an American. Even without a lick of English, a person could hold up their head and say, “I am in America now, therefore I am an American.”
I love this particularly about New York City. I grew up in Austin, but as soon as I moved to New York I became a New Yorker. Something about the vastness of the city and the difficulty of living there makes everyone part of the same insane family. I never had anyone from Long Island, Brooklyn, or Queens say to me, “You’re not really a New Yorker.” I can’t imagine how painful it is for immigrants here to be told, “You’re not really American.” It goes against everything our country was founded on.
Under Trump, Americans are being arrested and deported. Children who have lived here their entire lives are being told they don’t belong here and will have to leave. People are being harassed and detained without due process—a sentence I never thought I would write.
I’m watching friends and loved ones lose jobs and funding. Many people have lost their savings. The LGBTQ+ community is terrified. I think we can agree that the last three months have been far worse than any of us could have imagined.
Roberto and I are a cis white couple who were both born in the States, and we are not living the nightmare that many Americans are enduring right now. But I am still frightened. What if the government decides that because Roberto is half-Mexican, he is not American “enough?” What if (more) people are persecuted for being liberal, for writing about their beliefs (like I am doing at this moment). What if the military decides it will support Trump regardless of the law? I know I’m not alone in these fears.
France has its own right wing, of course. Les Republicains (LR) run on a platform of nationalism: France is for the French. When we talk about Trump to French people most of them are quick to point out that they believe their country might go the same way. The government has recently raised the language requirements for being able to stay long term in France. For residents (including retired people) the level has changed from A2 to B1. If you want to become a citizen the level has gone from B1 to B2 (plus you have to pass a test about French history and society.)
According to the excellent website The Local “the people who will suffer the most from these changes will be those at the margins who probably already speak decent French, but may not have benefited from formal schooling.” The Local also says:
Citing an impact report for the French Senate on the 2024 immigration law, they found that approximately 300,000 people will be required to meet new language requirements - and up to 60,000 could be at risk of failing the new language tests.
Another worrying piece of news is that the parliamentary leader for the right-wing recently suggested that "dangerous" foreigners who refuse to leave the country should be sent to the windy and freezing French islands off Canada in the north Atlantic. Sounds like a plan cooked up from someone else we know.
Roberto and I have yet to meet any right-wingers in Montpellier, and the locals seem as horrified as we are at the prospect of a majority Les Republicans government. The Local has also said “The destructive behavior of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin in the next two years could undermine the popularity of populists throughout Europe.”
It feels like the best we can hope for right now is that Trump’s cruel and illegal actions act as a warning to the rest of the world, and not an inspiration.
And in case this post depressed the hell out of you, here is a picture of our puppy, who loves everyone, especially immigrants.
Jusqu’à la prochaine fois,
Carolyn & Roberto
No! Cause I am. 🥰♥️
If you move here permanently, you WILL lose friends and contacts in the US. I'm not saying this to be pessimistic, but just because that's life. At first you want to keep up a half and half life but little by little, visits get shorter, time gets focused on the most essential people (possibly aging parents) and old friends and contacts fade away. It's easier now with electronic communication, but a permanent move means, by definition, not having it all.
I feel like it's not necessarily that terribly hard to integrate as an expat if you want to, but you are right, you will always feel like a foreigner, even if you attain citizenship. After 35 years, I've kept my accent. Somehow here in Rodez people seem to instinctively know I belong here, and I don't get many questions. But in some places, shopkeepers ask me where I'm from, what I'm doing here, etc. It gets old. I'm always kind and polite, but sometimes I just show them my French ID card and say "En fait, je suis française comme vous."
As far as a possible far right takeover here, it is encouraging that the Rassemblement National is distancing themselves like crazy from Trump.
Finally, and I think this is an error in your post, "Les Républicains" were a more traditional, Gaulliste party founded by Nicolas Sarkozy as a continuation of the Jacques Chirac traditional right. The RN, or Rassemblement National (formerly Front National), is Marine LePen's party, the one that is based on "France for the French" and that has become the dominant right-wing force here. Their positions have become somewhat more moderate over the years, but sometimes I fear it's to fool people. However, this has led to the creation of "Reconquête" (Eric Zemmour and Marion Maréchal-Lepen), a more extreme, Trump-like party that so far hasn't gotten that far.
I wish you luck in your reflection and this very difficult decision.