Back to School
Two Middle-age Americans Try Language Class
Carolyn and I promised each other that we were going to take a formal language class during our fall stay in Montpellier. DuoLingo is great, but in-person classes are a richer experience if for no other reason than you are forced to speak out loud, make mistakes, and get corrected in real time. There was no danger of us being in the same class since Carolyn is much more advanced than I am; this is a good thing since I’d be way too competitive if we were in the same class.
Carolyn edit here: Roberto is very right about how competitive he would have been in a French class.
Roberto edit response: . . . and I would have WON! I told Carolyn when we were dating that I’m a gracious loser and a terrible winner. Insufferable, really.
My first taste of being an older student was at the University of Vermont in 2011 when I took organic chemistry and a few other science courses. I was a much better student at 42 than I was at 20 and I liked having the professors address me as “sir” - I was the only non-traditional (i.e. older) student in the cohort.
I hoped I wouldn’t be the only older person in the room at our language school. I wanted to make some friends and maybe get to know people we could meet for drinks and practice with after class.
We waited a little too long to sign up (we were trying to book classes only two weeks ahead of our desired start date) and of the handful of language schools that we thought looked good (LSF, ILP, Alliance Français of Montpellier, ILA) only one actually had space for us, Accent Français. Pro tip: schedule early if you are planning on language classes; you’ll have more options.
The structure at Accent Français is well-suited to a city with a steady flow of visitors. When you register AF sends you a link to a language test and asks that you complete it within 72 hours without using a dictionary or translation app. They use exam results to assign you to a class at the appropriate level. The class you are assigned to may have students that have already been there for days, weeks, or even months.
We both signed up for two weeks of classes in the Standard Program which includes three hours of class time each day, from 9:00am-12:15pm with a fifteen minute break in the middle. In total we paid €600 each for two weeks of classes, which includes an €80 registration fee. There was an option to do an Intensive Program which included afternoon classes and private tutoring a few days a week, but we agreed that sounded overwhelming (this is a marathon, not a sprint). In retrospect, that was a good decision—we were both wiped out after three hours of class!
On the first day we went to the administrative building where students were queued outside waiting for the doors to open. At 8:30 they let us in, single file, and asked each of us our name before sending us to specific rooms for orientation.
We sat in small, crowded rooms while the staff rotated through to introduce themselves and tell us what to expect. I liked that everyone made themselves accountable from the beginning. However, it was very repetitive and the room was muggy. I imagine they learned long ago that if you only explain the weekly schedule one time you get a bajillion questions; better to explain it five times on the first day. Orientation included a sales pitch for the extras we could sign up for: private tutoring, outings to various museums, hosted dinners with teachers and students, hikes, and visits to historic sites in the surrounding towns. We didn’t sign up for any extras so I can’t comment on whether they are a good value.
The Owner/Founder, Virginie came into my room and asked everyone where they were from. The woman next to me was in her late 60’s and from Scotland. Then Virginie asked if we were a couple, I guess because we both have white hair. Scottish Grandma and I both laughed and said, “No,” and then Scottish Grandma gave me a slow up and down, raised one eyebrow, and shrugged while making eye contact - it was a once over worthy of Betty White. She was being very saucy and funny, and we both laughed again.
After 30 minutes of staff introductions/presentations, we departed to the other building (a few blocks away) to start our first class. My class had twelve people in it, evenly divided between three age groups. There were four (including me and Scottish Grandma) whom I took to be over 50, another four students in their 20’s, and four students who were high school age. It was truly international, my room had students from Trinidad/Tobago, Germany, Scotland, Spain, Norway, the US, and Japan.
The youngest group was immediately chit-chatting—it was clearly not their first week here. They were showing things to each other on their phones and creating a distracting buzz that reminded me of the bad kids sitting at the back of history class in high school. The buzz continued as the teacher started explaining that we’d be working on the Passé Composé.
“No! Stop that this minute. I cannot hear when you talk like that!” This was delivered like slap to the face in a thick brogue that sounded like Shrek. I turned my head to see Scottish Grandma leaning over the table stone-faced and serious as a nun, wagging her finger at the now-silent kids, and somehow looking all four of them in the eye at once. It was so menacing that I almost apologized to her, just to be on the safe side!
The kids sat wide-eyed, mouths agape, taking in the angry Highlander; they were as silent as a morgue.
The teacher, who was thirty-something, swallowed visibly (I think Scottish Grandma scared him too) and passed out sheets of paper with the Passé Composé exercises on them. He proceeded with the lesson, occasionally turning to write out notes on the large smart screen at the front of the classroom. I was following along easily, making constant use of the camera function in Google Translate. I was seated next to German Social Worker, a nice young woman who belonged to the twenty-something group. She was a serious student, took highly organized notes, and was not shy about saying “I don’t understand” when she wasn’t getting something. The teacher was great—he kept the lessons moving forward without leaving anyone behind and without letting the slower students bog things down.
I continued watching the group of high school kids (unavoidable, they were in my line of sight when I looked at the teacher). Two of them were definitely a couple, the young woman was constantly running her hand through the guy’s hair, he was wearing too much cologne and an inappropriately expensive watch for a 17 year old. The young woman directly in front of me gave absolutely Zero Fucks about class. I was amused to watch her shopping for Nikes and looking at flavors of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream on her phone the WHOLE TIME. Whenever the teacher called on Zero Fucks, her girlfriend would disentangle from her boyfriend’s hair and whisper the answer at her; it wasn’t subtle, everyone could tell what was going on.
At 10:30 we had a fifteen minute break. I went to check in with Carolyn. We were both pleasantly surprised that the class levels suited us perfectly; they were challenging, but we didn’t feel lost. Carolyn had a similarly distracted group of youngsters in her room. We compared notes on the looong morning staff introductions, and then it was time to return to class.
The short break had done nothing to focus the kids’ attention. The teacher began presenting the next lesson and they were chatting and buzzing again. “You must stop talking! Stop this instant!” This time it was a Norwegian accent with a palm whacking the table at the end of each sentence. Viking Baker was an imposing woman who runs a gluten free bakery in Norway, and if you think a Viking Baker sounds silly then you haven’t heard this lady scold in public. She was close to my age, and, like Scottish Grandma who sat next to her, she was NOT having any of this nonsense!
The kids noticed but this time they were unperturbed, they smirked at each other. The teacher spoke up and politely told them they needed to be quiet. Zero Fucks had stopped shopping for shoes and ice cream and was now using her phone as a mirror, holding it at arms length and preening in the selfie camera without a hint of embarrassment or subterfuge. She did this for the last half of class, sometimes taking a break to rest her head on the desk.
These patterns continued throughout the first week. The older students were serious and arrived early to compare notes and chat before class began, and we asked questions during class. The kids showed up at the last minute, mostly didn’t pay attention, and only spoke when the teacher called on them. Zero Fucks stopped coming to class after the second day. I don’t know if she was moved to an easier class or just quit, but I don’t think any of us missed her.
The teacher really was a pro. He explained things in English when necessary for clarity, he kept the class moving and worked through everyone’s challenges with what seemed to be an endless well of patience.
By mid-week I was comfortable enough to start being more playful with the work. As we studied the impératif, there were several exercises in which we pretended to give advice to people who came to us with problems. When shown a picture of a guy with his hand on his forehead the obvious intent was for me to say “J’ai un mal de tête.” (I have a headache), to which German Social Worker was supposed to reply “Alors, mes conseils: prenez une aspirine! Buvez de l’eau!” (In that case, my advice is take an aspirin! Drink some water!).
“I have a headache” is SO boring; “Ma femme a une liaison!” (My wife is having an affair!), I said to German Social Worker. To her credit, she got to work and replied “Alors, mes conseils: trouvez un conseiller conjugal, parlez avec votre femme!” (Find a marriage counselor, talk to your wife!)
When we got to the section on body parts I added the following to my list of flashcards: les poignées d’amour (the love handles), la caroncule (the wattle), and les bijoux de famille (the family jewels). Learning should be fun, y’all!
Speaking of flashcards, Carolyn gave me a hot tip that seriously changed the way I use my favorite flashcard app, Quizlet. You can make flashcards very quickly by typing them out with any major word processing app, and then import them into Quizlet using their Magic Notes feature. The app will automatically generate flashcards from the uploaded file. Just be sure to separate the French and English terms using a TAB or COMMA, Magic Notes will create a separate flashcard from each line! This was much faster than typing out individual cards in the Quizlet app. You only get to upload a few documents before you’re required to upgrade to a paid membership, which I did.
We return to class on Monday for our final week of lessons. I confess that one week of class tired me out. I still haven’t memorized all the flashcards I made (but I do know how to say “love handles”!). The program at Accent Français is well organized and engaging; I had a good time in class and have a lot of respect for the way the teacher managed everything. It’ll be interesting to see who returns and what new faces arrive. I’ll report back soon with an update on week two. But I enthusiastically recommend this school and I’m happy to report that it was still fun being an older student!
Jusqù’a la prochain fois (until next time),
Roberto & Carolyn
Wow! I LOVE the humor and I ENJOYED and delighted in meeting you both in Montpellier! I'm sorry we didn't have more time and I think we need to come back, (have michael) take more French classes and buy the next round! Thank you again for making our last evening SO interesting, SO fun! Christine & Michael (Tampa, FL)
bien joué les enfants !!